A calling to be a wife is one of the hardest that I’ve stepped into yet. Can I get an amen? With so many societal misconceptions that degrade women into being mindless wives that have no voice, its imperative that we look to the truth of God’s word about what He intended the design of a wife to look like. Let’s take a look at what the bible says about becoming the wives He has called us to be.
Be willing to forgive.
Few things are as essential to the gospel as forgiveness and grace. This past Sunday we celebrated His resurrection. It’s a recurring reminder of this very theme – the price that Jesus paid for us. When we embrace this amazing thing He did for us – the ones He loves – we’ll find it difficult to not want to extend that same grace to the one that we love. There’s a liberating power in forgiveness. When we forgive our husbands, were freeing him from the debilitating power of shame and allowing him to grow into the man that and the husband that he’s meant to be.
Be a helper.
The essence of being a wife is to be a helper. When God told Adam that He was going to make Him a wife, He called her a helper (Genesis 2:18). God gave us free will, not to choose Him – or not – but to become willing co-laboreres with Him. To be co-laborers with Christ not only means that apart from Christ, our work isn’t done but that His work on earth is not complete without us.
When we make the decision to marry our husbands, our relational perspective should shift. We need to be willing engage our husbands, share in their work, exchange ideas, participate together. When we do this, were becoming more informed about how we can better co-labor or help them. Make yourself vulnerable to his desires.
Psalm 37:4 says:
Delight yourselves in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”
For many years I thought that if we make Christ our priority, He will change our desires and tell us what to desire. As Bill Johnson put it, it actually means that He wants to be impacted by our desires. He loves to go back and forth with us, sharing His ideas and us sharing our back. He loves having you as part of His team and values your creativity! In the same way, we can optimize our calling as helpers by working together to manifest our lover’s desires, dreams, and idea.
I couldn’t write about a wife’s calling without writing about submission. While it’s been adopted as a negative concept, allow me to challenge that belief.
Submission in no way means that a wife is inferior to her husband. Scripture says that men and women both were created on the image of God and thus, have equal worth. We are equally loved by God, valued by God, and called to be heirs to His throne.
Submission doesn’t mean wives are to be mindless or that husbands are ways right. In fact, we would be dishonoring our roles as helpers if we stayed quiet and avoided partnering with them to make decisions. He’s human as we are and is subject to not having all the answers like we are. Surrendering in love does not mean that you lose yourself.
A wife’s submission, however, is a posture of the heart before it’s an action. It’s a decision to practice trusting God to give our marriage direction through our husbands. Submission is loving God by following His commands (John 14:15). One writer put it like this: “The wife, when obeying her husband, will say first to herself, “Yes, Lord,” then “Yes, Dear.”
“Submission is willingly, cheerfully, and respectfully coming under the umbrella of my husband’s protective authority. Not demanding my own way, but discussing situations with my husband and allowing him to make the final decision. There can’t be any begrudging or I-told-you-so attitude for it to be true submission, but a quiet, gentle, encouraging spirit. Recognizing that God has placed him as the head/leader of the home, and purposefully trying not to usurp his power, but to be a helpmate or helper suitable for what my husband needs. Doing him good and not evil all the days of our lives.”
“A good wife is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.” – Proverbs 31:10
A virtuous woman is one who possesses strength and substance. Upon reading the remainder of Proverbs 31, you’ll find a list of attributes for this type of woman: enterprising, diligent, hard worker, careful, confident, modest, strong, courageous, gentle, and the list goes on.
A wife that’s virtuous is one her husband can trust. Her husband’s response to her is a reflection of her character and their relationship.
She comforts and encourages her husband, making it her business to do him good every single day. Her actions make her husband greater.
The calling of wife is so important. It’s a calling to partner with and cooperate with the Lord to love and serve your husband. Don’t allow the enemy to make you doubt your calling as wife. In fact, you’ll never have to prove your worthiness as a wife. That would imply that you have to prove that you have a place on this planet, in your marriage. Run to God and ask Him how you can be a better wife to your husband each and every day. And then, trust Him.
Comment below what your experience has been as a wife.